Zero Gravity

This morning our local radio presenter from TKO has been telling us how a prominent astrologer has informed, that at precisely 09:47 in Spain. Jupiter will go behind Pluto, and cause a once ever gravitational alignment on the earth, so if you jump up in the air at that precise time you will probably float.
A warning has been put out by the siesmology institute,that if a large amount of people DO jump up in the air at the same time -Like at 09:47 - when they land it is liable to cause movement of the Teutonic plates and cause spasmodic earthquakes in strategic places in the Northern hemisphere.